funny

Funny SMS

Millions of people write Love Letters.
But everyone send there 1st love letter mostly to me.
Just imagine how lucky I am!
Great words Said by,
—DUST BIN—
 
 Married men live longer than single men do,
but,
married men are a lot more willing to die.
 
 A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
 
 A notice in a factory for girl workers:
If your skirt is long,
protect yourself from machines at work.
If it is short,
protect yourself from men at work.
 
What do you call a wife who is sexy,
beautiful, intelligent, understanding,
caring, never jealous and a great cook?ANSWER : A dream!
 
Girl:Its 2 tight
Boy:Dont worry,Ill do it slowly,
Gal:Push it in,
Boy:Ah..I cant,
Gal:Its painful,
Boy:Forget it.
.
.
.
.
Well buy new WEDDING RING!
 
 Can we do romance in the midnight today?
I’m in a good mood:)
Just a little bit of kissing and biting!!
Reply me soon,
yours Loving Mosquito.
 Funny SMS
 Doctor: Why did you take your antibiotic medicine at 6 AM, when I told you at 9 AM..???

Patient: I wanted to surprise the bacteria by surgical strike.

 
 A small boy took a knife and wrote his girlfriend’s name on his hand
After a minute he started crying loudly…
Why???
.
.
.
Paining???
No..!! Then???..Spelling mistake..!!!
 
 Don’t worry if you don’t have a valentine on valentine’s day.. Most people don’t even have AIDS on World AIDS day
 
If a single teacher can’t teach us all the subjects.
Then how could any one can expects a single student to learn all subjects?
 
eacher : Who Invented The “I Love You”
Student : China
Teacher : How?
Student : Its has no guarantee & quality. If works, till forever.. If not, then no ever.

 
 
If 1=5.

2=25.

3=125.

4=625.

5=?

Think Before Scrolling 😛

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*Ans is 1 !

See The 1st Line.

MORAL : Life’s Very Simple, Don’t Make It Complicated…!! 🙂 🙂

 Funny SMS
A man lost alone on an island.
One day he decided to build a wood boat.
Suddenly a girl came there & the man use the wood 4 making bed.
Moral : A girl can change ur aim.
 
 Difference between Friend & Wife
U can Tell ur Friend
“U r my Best Friend”
But
Do u have courage tell to ur Wife “U r my Best Wife?”
 
 Do u know whats A B C D E F G?
A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl
Now reverse da order, can u guess the full form of: G F E D C B A ?
Girls Forgets Everything Done & Catches (new) Boy Again.
 
 Why cant a girl can be both intelligent and good looking…
Because then it would make her a boy.
 
 Interviewer: Imagine that u r in room with all doors & windows closed & it caught fire, now how can u escape?
Candidate: Very simple, I’ll stop imagining.
 funny sms
 Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
 
 Wife: I hate the beggar who came yesterday!
Husband: Why?
Wife: I gave him food yesterday and today he gifted me a book “How to Cook”!!
 
When you get this SMS,
send it to 1 person u love,
1 u hate, 1 u always think of
and 1 u wish to kill.
Now, keep guessing why I sent it to u.
 Funny SMS
Man: Officer! There’s a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don’t worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.
Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects.
Q : What did Clinton say to Gore about the whole affair?
A : Pardon me
Doctor: Please lie down to bed, I need to check you throughly.
Lady: Okay but call the nurse too.
Doctor: Why, you don’t have trust in me?
Lady: I do, but my husband, who is outside, doesn’t have trust in me…
Girl sitting on a park bench.
Funny Begger: Hi Darling.
She angrily: How dare u call me as darling.?
Begger: Then what r u doing on my bed?
Charming girl 2 boy : What do u do dude?
Smart boy: PHD
Girl being so impressed: Wow! Doctorate.
.
.
Boy : No. Pizza Hut Delivery
 Funny SMS
Employee : Boss, you called me?
Boss : Yes, go to home and make love with your wife.
Employee : (After an hour) ,done sir
Boss : Do it again.
Employee : Done again, sir.
Boss : Do it once more
Employee : Now I don’t have stamina for it, sir.
Boss : Very good,here are my car
keys, drop my young daughter at home.
Woman to her advocate: I want to marry my ex-husband again.
Advocate- Why? Only last week you got the divorce.
Woman: After divorce, I see him very happy and I cannot tolerate it!
Mr Been: He is standing in front of the door.
Wife: y r u standing in front of the door?
Mr Been: I want to kill tiger.
Wife: Then go.
Mr Been: In front of me there is a dog.
It takes
3 months for a Writer
2 months for a Doctor
1 month for a Lawyer and
Only 1 night before exam for a Student
to read a 1000 pages book
what a talent.
love has a special smile
girls use to trick with smile
when boys are fallen in there smile
they say, they are away a mile
 Funny SMS
 I love my job only when I’m on vacation.
 
 My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours
 
 I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy saving mode.
 
 Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.
 
I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice.
7 billion people on the planet and I can only tolerate maybe 10.
My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside.
Common sense is a flower that doesn’t grow in everyone’s garden.
You have the perfect face for radio.
 Funny SMS
Enjoy your life. There’s is plenty of time to be dead.
I don’t get drunk, I get awesome.
3 mistakes of everyone’s life: Facebook, Twitter and Whatsapp
Save Water, Drink Beer!
Virginity is like a soap bubble, one touch and it is gone.
New style of proposing
Boy: can I take a photo.
Girl: why?
Boy: just wanted 2 show my children
How their mom looked in Her younger age.
Marriage is like a public toilet
Those waiting outside are desperate to get in
&
Those inside are desperate to come out..
Practice makes a man perfect,
but
Nobody is perfect,
then
why practice?
Worlds smallest resignation letter
Respected sir,
I love your wife.
Thank you
All the good guys
go to Heaven.
All the bad guys
go to Woman
Son: The girl of our neighbors
don’t understand English.
Father: How do you know?
Son: I said to her “Give Me Sweet Kiss”
and she slapped me
Funny SMS
Save paper
DON’T DO YOUR HOME WORK!!
Love can neither be created nor destroyed.
only it can transfer from,
one girl friend to an another girl friend,
with some lose of money.
The best reply,
when a girl asks you
not to look at her…
“If you aren’t looking at me,
how do you know I’m looking at you?”
Son: Dad! Children are more intelligent or their Parents?
Father: Their Dads.
Son: Dad! Who Invented Telephone??
Father: (Happily) Graham Bell..
Son: Then Why didn’t his dad Invented that??
3 stupid stages of life :
Teenage: hav time & energy but no money
working age: hav money & energy but no time
oldage: hav time n money but no energy!
Teacher: Sardar, “Where is Mount Everest?”
Sardar: “I don’t know Sir”
Teacher: Well.Stand up on your bench.
Sardar: It is not yet visible Sir.
A little boy went up to his father and asked :
” Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from ? ”
His father replied :
“Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother,
because I still have mine. ”